Our First Annus Twinnus

WARNING: This edition of Oh FFS may veer dangerously into the the territory of counting your blessings and may even become heart-warming. I am aware that I promised this would never be the case. So I lied. Sue me.

Bump at 30 weeks.

This time last year I was as big as a whale and just as mobile. I couldn't put my shoes on, turn over in bed, or wipe my bottom easily. I spent much of my time crying my eyes out to my poor long suffering husband about how much I wanted these babies out. I would then cry my eyes out about how the hell we were going to cope when they did come out. More crying would ensue in relation to the subjects of how were we going manage financially, how was poor Paige going to manage, would I be able to love both of them the same, would I be able to love them as much as Paige and the fact we had run out of ice cream.

TBH, I was crying so much that I am extremely surprised at the level of fluid retention I achieved - you wouldn't have thought there was that much water left in my body.

And then, suddenly, my kidneys started to fail, I was admitted to hospital and Cameron and Connor were yanked out. And so began a year that has been on one hand a complete nightmare and on the other not as bad as we thought it was going to be! 

Cameron

That first week after their birth was awful. I was still very ill. I wasn't coping with the fact that my babies were in the neonatal unit. And I was still having to get up three times a night to pee.

Connor

But then I changed my attitude to one of acceptance. OK, life was going to be shitty for a while. For bloody ages in fact. Deal with it. So I did.

The rest of the year can be summed up thus.......

Three months of sleep deprivation.
A two-week visit from my mother.
Nick starts suffering from debilitating headaches.
Trip in ambulance and three day hospital stay for me

What they found in my gallbladder

Gall bladder operation for me
10 days surgery recovery for me (while looking after two baby boys)
Nick's golf handicap going out
Ambulance call for Paige
Three hours on a bank holiday at medical centre with Paige
Lots of screaming and stitches for Paige
Me sick and in bed.
Discovery that two seater trolleys at supermarkets are a very rare thing.
Nick sick and in bed ( although there wasn't actually much wrong with him if you ask me)
Paige sick and sent to school. Repeatedly.
Paige getting sicker, not eating and losing weight.
Me sick. Getting sicker. Not eating. Not losing weight. Diagnosed with giardia
Boys diagnosed with giardia
Financial ruin from purchase of bulk lots of nappies, wipes, formula and baby food.

But you know, when I look back it doesn't seem that bad. Yes, all that bad crap happened to us. But there were some good things too....

Mum left.
Nick got good medication
I got good medication
Boys got good medication
Paige didn't get any medication but recovered anyway

And through it all, the one thing we thought was going to be the complete nightmare but actually turned out to be one of the best things ever - the boys. Our beautiful, beautiful boys.

Cameron (left) and Connor

Two little people that I love more than I thought possible. Two little people who make me laugh every single day. Two little people that have made our family somewhat larger than we planned but somehow just the right size. And two little people who are growing up so fast.

It is their birthday on Monday. They are one whole year old. And if this first year is an indication of what future years are going to be like then bring it on, I say, bring it on. Except not the giardia if you don't mind.