Wanted: Mother

Person required to be a mother. Expect to work 24/7/365. Unpaid position. No holidays, sick days or long service leave. Will be expected to have skills (amongst others) as cook, cleaner, nurse, motivator, arbitrator, sargeant-major, teacher, child's entertainer, laundry person, policeman, counsellor and moral compass. Must be able to cope with feelings of guilt, criticism, pride, helplessness, all-enduring love and happiness - often all within a 10 minute episode. Time wasters need not apply.

And all of it is true. And quite a lot of it is just all part of the joys of motherhood. And it can be quite rewarding at times (usually bedtime, I find). But the one thing out of it that sticks in my craw is the lack of sick cover that mothers have.

I have been ill with a tummy bug type thing for a month now. I'll spare you the finer details but it has meant that I have not been able to travel far from my home most days and have felt downright bloody awful every day. Which has had a fairly major impact on my life.

In that month I have had one day 'off'. Right at the start. And that was because it was a Saturday. Because hubby has to go to work right. Because going to work and attending meetings and doing everything else that he does is very important - it pays for the rest of our lives for a start!

But if it had been him who was sick, all those meetings and very important things that he does would have sorted themselves out somehow - someone else would have stood in or they would have been postponed until he was back at work hale and harty after spending a couple of days in bed allowing his body to fight the bug and recover.

But Mums have to carry on regardless. You can be running to the loo approximately every 15 minutes. You can be spewing in the sink in between feeding your children their main course and pudding. And you can feel like utter utter crap for days on end because your body is not getting the chance it needs to restore itself but you still have to manage to cook, clean, entertain, care for and generally keep on keeping on.

And that is not bloody fair.

But what is the answer? A crack government funded team of experienced care givers in every town that are on hand to give sick Mums sick leave? Spaces at every child-care facility every day specifically for children whose mothers just can't keep on keeping on for another minute (funded, of course)?

No. There isn't an answer. It is just one of those things about being a SAHM.

But today I wasn't prepared to accept it any longer. And phoned in sick to hubby. Who left all those meetings and very important things that he does so I could crawl into my pit and feel like crap. I still feel like puking any second is an option my body is going to take. And I am still thanking the Victorians for inventing the sewerage system (or was it the Romans? Anyway, that's not the point). But I feel perhaps a tiny tiny bit less crap than I did 4 hours ago.

Which means that I might be able to keep on keeping on tomorrow after all.

Thanks love.

Oh FFS

Look what I did!! I am such a clever boy!!

A New Blog is Born

So.

Here we are.

So.

I probably need to answer some questions about it.

First of all – Why did I call it ‘Oh FFS’? Because thinking up a snappy, clever, revealing or whimsical title is actually harder than you think. ‘Polly’s Ponderings’ ‘Inside My Life’ ‘Something clever with a play on the fact that I have twins’ ‘Something clever about the fact that I have dogs’ – see? Then I thought ‘Oh FFS’ and realised that I say that phrase quite a lot. (Well, that and ‘Oh, bollocks to it’) and I thought it as good a title as any.

Second question – Why are you doing a blog? Haven’t you got your hands full enough already? (Facebook friends may chuckle appreciatively). Because Facebook has a limit on the the number of characters I can use to moan, celebrate, rant, tell funny stories or ask questions with. So if you like, this blog can be thought of as a huge great long status report. Heaven knows I am not the sort of person to use one word when several are available to me. Also, people keep telling me I should write a book. Unfortunately none of them are publishers with huge great sums of money so this is a pretty close approximation. Unless they were suggesting I write a book about earthworms. In which case it won’t be.

Third question – What’s it going to be about? Same as everyone else’s, I expect. Stuff. Stuff about my kids, about my dogs, about my friends (oh, my friends count on Fb has suddenly dropped quite drastically. I wonder why?), about everything. It will be very me though. As I am not very good at being anyone else. So that means you probably ought to leave your sensibilities at the virtual door. My nice friend does a lovely blog in which she often counts her blessings, shows her pride in her family and generally produces a heart-warming read. I am not expecting that to happen here. Just so you know.

So.

There you are.

Hopefully I will enjoy writing it and hopefully you will enjoy reading it. If not, I will employ the use of the delete option Blogger so thoughtfully provides.